No Psychopomp - [[OOC NOTES]]

The following is a list of Urahara's running thoughts on all of the inmate/patients.

"But I don't want to go among mad people."

"Oh, you can't help that. I'm mad, you're mad. We're all mad here."

"How do you know I am mad?"

"You must be, or you wouldn't have come here."

Abarai Renji
Sane. Angry, but sane. Abarai was born a woman (arguably, though I shouldn't be so trite about the patients-- the situaton is decidedly unhumorous), but is decidedly a man in all ways. If belief makes reality, then Abarai is ten times the man a dandy like myself is. Will likely be an inmate for his entire life, simply due to the problem not existing within Abarai's personality but within the perceptions of others. Sad in a poignant fashion, but the patient will likely die within the confines before being "readjusted," and before society can come to accept his condition.

He is why I have this job.

Arisawa Tatsuki
A bit of a spitfire. Keep an eye on this one, Kisuke. She has some interesting relationships with some interesting patients. Which is not to say that you're spy, but one will tell a friend things one would never consider telling a therapist.

Arlueri, Aaroniero
Let a man with a better constitution and a lesser sense of purpose than me take this one.

Asano Keigo
Is secretly Histrionic.

Ayasegawa Yumichika
A severe, classical sort of narcissism is in this one. Were he less obsessive about himself he would not even need to be in here-- just pass himself off quietly as a bit of a fop. A textbook case; not my sort of patient in any way, as I do not know how to deal with those who fight against becoming better. He could easily be returned to proper society, though, given a better therapist than myself.

Il Forte Grantz
I've never believed sexuality, of any kind aside from perhaps an attraction to things not shaped as people, to be a form of mental disorder or any other disorder. Grantz' real problem is his obnoxious personality. This can be fixed, but doesn't necessarily take a therapist to do it. More a beating with a cane.

Luckily, I've got one handy.

Zaera-Polo Grantz
More beatings may be in order. Perhaps with less force.

Hinamori Momo
A sweet girl, if a bit rabbitlike. Reminds me of dear Ururu. I may introduce her to Jinta. He could be the cure, as he seems to have Ururu on her toes.

Hirako Shinji
This one, I need to talk to more. Though I see no reason why he can't be eventually sent back to live in society, aside from the fact that he is apparently completely without family or friends, his multiple personalities are not only multiple but entirely dualistic, one being quite the opposite of the other. A tough nut; he could be rehabilitated, but it may be just as cruel to force him to start over again in a world where he has nothing.

Which one is your mask, Hirako?

Hisagi Shuuhei
A bit of a hard-ass, if you ask me.

Which I note they do not.

Hitsugaya Toushiro
Generally avoid. In fact, specifically avoid. You will only encourage his illness.

Honshou Chizuru
I see no problem with this ideal of sapphic love. In my opinion, the way the fairer sex is growing so quickly to outnumber us males, she may be on to something. However, there are various personality issues to be dealt with...

Ichimaru Gin
As they say, the abyss also gazes. Avoid for your own peace of mind.

Inoue Orihime
Delusional. Completely delusional. She would easily be able to survive-- she's a smart girl. The problem is that she would no doubt be entirely shunned outside these walls. There may be nothing any of us can do for her. Sadly, another patient who will likely live and die within the confines.

At least she will do so happily. I'll make sure of it.

Ise Nanao
Ought to have a twin sister. I feel cheated.

Ishida Ryuuken
What an ass.

Ishida Uryuu
Does not belong here. Quite sane, if a bit of an ass. Scratch that, a complete ass.

Grimmjow Jaggerjack
Not enough drugs in the world. Keep an eye on this one, you may learn something about the way the mind works, though you may not like it.

Kira Izuru
See Yamada Hanatarou.

Komamura Saijin
He always looks so very impressive. It makes me sad that circumstances dictate he can never leave this place.

Kon
Do not avoid. In fact, seek out, as you know your days are frequently boring and this boy removes the possibility.

Kurosaki Ichigo
I don't believe his is a case in which any of us have a true answer. How can you prove or disprove that a boy sees the dead? I personally believe he is completely sane, but my opinion apparently counts for little in this situation. Some of the staff see us on the same level. They are asking me to rehabilitate him, but you can't fix something that isn't broken, not even when the father and siblings are nearby leaking hope at you so messily. Sadly, as in the case with Abarai, the problem may be a narrow-minded society which refuses to believe what it cannot touch. Nevertheless, his history says he does need some sort of guidance. He has, shall we say, related and unrelated issues.

But I believe in them also, Kurosaki.

Kurosaki Isshin
Makes my job difficult.

Kurotsuchi Mayuri
Should be shot for taking principles I believed in and making them wholly reprehensible.

Kurotsuchi Nemu
Will be a patient one of these days, mark my words!

Kotetsu Isane
Avoid. You are too fond of Unohana to do anything she may lecture you about, in this case. So I am selfish.

We all knew I was, anyway.

Kotetsu Kiyone
I would say something about this girl, but I've already made myself feel sufficiently the womanizer. If nothing else, excellent for rallying the troops in case of a fire.

Kuchiki Byakuya
There is a bon mot here, somewhere, about men who handle money. Suffice it to say, we don't get along.

Kuchika Rukia
The opposite of Kurosaki. She may have to be broken completely to be fixed, so wrapped up in her deeply depressed thoughts. Replacing blame does not remove it, and removing it will require drastic measures.

Avoid her so that it never comes to this-- Shunsui would be quite angry about broken girls.

Kyouraku Shunsui
Will be the death of me, one way or another. Likely through alcohol poisoning.

Madarame Ikkaku
Should be institutionalized for anger management issues, but not being a patient, is fair game for poking at.

Wanderweiss Margera
He does not belong here. He belongs in an actual hospital. Why is he here?

Matsumoto Rangiku
AVOID. IT IS NOT WORTH THE TROUBLE, KISUKE.

Noitra
Not the sort of problems one can fix. There is no desire here to rehabilitate, and in fact, I see only that he takes great pleasure in what he does. He is sane, mark my words, but he is not a good man. I don't trust him as far as I can throw him, and I'm no Atlas.

Pyon
Avoid when in combination with Kon. If you figure out how to fix one, the other is likely to follow.

Ulquiorra Schiffer
There is a problem. I don't know what it is, but I want to fix it, as it seems like it cannot be fixed.

Unohana Retsu
A saint amongst swine. I owe much to her, if not everything. Therefore, it would behoove me to do as she says more often.

Urahara Kisuke
Will be institutionalized once his work is completed. Psuedologia fantastica sufferer. Possible narcissism. Possible manic-depressive. Formerly prone to peregrination.

Sarugaki Hiyori
Her case is slightly related and yet, at the same time, entirely different than Hirako's. Handle with care and possibly oven mitts. She bites.

Shihouin Yoruichi
This tart merely needs to be taught discretion in order to be released. Sadly, I don't think she believes in discretion just yet. Yes, think you are a cat, dearheart, and maybe you really are? I'm not in the habit of being a judge. Just don't tell your family about it.

Still, she's got a pair of nice ones.

Shiba Ganjyuu
Becoming a bit redundant at some point, but a hopeless case. An entire family which is a hopeless case. Though he is a likeable man.

Shiba Kuukaku
Keep an eye out for this one. For various reasons, including the two you're dwelling on, Kisuke.

Shirosaki
See Grimmjow Jaggerjack. Multiply by the power of 4.

Soi Fong
They say the patient hasn't broken down yet. They haven't give me a crack at her.

Tesla
Sane. Possibly his symptoms are another manifestation of Hinamori Momo's. He could easily be rehabilitated, but it's likely that he doesn't care to. Being here is, as terrible as it may sound, only making him crazier. A nice lad.

Yamada Hanatarou
Avoid. In this case, you are part of the problem, Kisuke. You might kill him if you're not careful.

Zaraki Kenpachi
A bit of an extremist-- which is his real problem. A hopeless case, but a man I can respect in a way.

This list is kept on a little, very crinkled looking piece of white paper which he keeps in the band on the inside of his hat. He scribbles notes on it now and then.

Tags: lolwtfurahara, ooc post

Advertisement

Advertisement